Sinful Thoughts
by elizabethmom05
Summary: Bella and Edward meet in a mental health facility. Can they help each other overcome they're emotional pasts? What happens when two dark worlds collide?


Hey everyone. This story hits close to home for me. A lot of stuff in this story I have experienced, and hopefully will help people going through the same thing will find the help that I did. I'm dedicating this story to all the people I met in the hospital, and my prayers are always wit you all.

BPOV

" Bella!, this shit needs to stop now!" I can see the anger and sadness in my Dad's face and eyes. I give him an unemotional look and tell him" It's something I can't stop, it takes the pain away"

"Bella, I see all the marks on your body, you have been cutting your self again, I saw the blood on you pant legs in the hamper" I start to cry and tell him I don't know how to stop it.

with a heavy sigh he sits down next to me on the stairs and asks if I have talked to my counselor about cutting my self again? " I told him no"

I can see tears in his eyes and puts his arm around my shoulder " I called a mental facility, and you are being admitted tomorrow"

" They know your situation, and I think this will help you" I started crying and screaming " I'm not going into some nut house, I don't need to, I can get over this myself"

Charlie stood up and shook my shoulders " Bella, you have told me that before, and you are repeating the same pattern, I have the authority to put you in a facility, you are still a minor" He hugged me and asked to please do this for him to give him some peace of mind.

I finally agreed, but told him I was not happy about it " I guess I will go upstairs and pack then"

CPOV (Dad's point of view)

I can't stand by and watch my little girl mutilate herself anymore. I thought the counselor I brought her to was helping, but she has been lieing to her as well. I don't want to put Bella into a mental facility, but her counselor said it would be for the best, and she definitely needs help. Her Mother has not been a big help in this, and I don't think she really cares. I just don't understand why she hurts herself, and tells me it makes the pain go away. I try to talk to her and tell her she can tell me anything, but she just locks herself in her room and shuts down.

I have even taken down her door down, and tried to hide anything that she could use to cut herself, but she always finds a way. I'm at a loss, and it's taking a big tole on me. Her friends at school, have even come to me and tell me they are worried about her. They see the marks on her bottom fore arm. Maybe I haven't been there for her enough, Her Mother abandoned us when she was 7 and I will never forget that day. I started seeing the marks on her when she was 15, she's 17 now, and still cutting herself. I think I'm doing the best thing for my Daughter, she may hate me for this, but it's the only thing I can do now to help her.

BPOV

I can't believe my Dad is making me go into a mental facility. I thought I could take care of this on my own, but maybe I do have more problems then I realize. I'm scared everyone there is going to think I'm a freak, and I don't do well with rules. I wonder what they will let me have in my room. I'm sure they will take anything that can be used to cut me with, so, I may as well leave my razor and mirror home. I packed my stuff and had a big urge to cut myself, so I went into my bathroom and took out the razor blade I hid from my Dad and made a mark on my right thigh. It hurt, but felt good and took all the pain away I've been feeling. I may as well get some in before I go to the nut house.

I went to bed after cleaning my leg and had a restless night. My Dad woke me up right when I was falling asleep and told me we have to there in a couple of hours. I got up, took a shower and dressed in a long sleeve blue shirt and jeans with my black converse shoes. My Dad fixed me breakfast, but I was not that hungry, I was still mad.

"Bella, you should really eat something" I rolled my eyes and told him 'I'm not that hungry, Dad, I'm still mad about having to be put into a faciliyt"

Setting his coffee cup down, he looked at me and said" Bella, I'm only doing this be cause I'm at a loss, I can't stand around and watch you hurt yourself anymore, if you can't talk to me about the pain, then maybe someone at the mental facility can open you up"

I stood up and put my plate and glass in the sink and asked him if he was ready to go, I just wanted to get this over with.

He stood up and hugged me " I love you, Bells" For some reason that brought me some calmness. My Dad isn't the affectionate type.

We loaded my stuff in the car and headed to Forks mental health facility. We checked in, and the nurse, Becky, seemed nice, but I was really not in the mood for nice right now. She went over the rules and told me that they will have to go through all my stuff, took my vitals and told my Dad He could call me from 11 am to 9 PM, unless we are in group therapy, I won't be able to take any calls.

My Dad hugged me and said He would call and visit everyday. "Okay, Dad"

I watched him leave and noticed they had a lock on the elevator and staircase. My nurse went over some paperwork with me all about why I came in, am I healthy besides cutting myself and all that bullshit they ask.

Then the Dr came in the room and talked to me for a while " Hi, Bella I'm Dr. Brooks " I said " Hi" He asked if I knew why I was here and I told him because I like to self mutilate. " Can you tell me why you do that to yourself?" I couldn't look at him and said" Yes, but I don't want to talk about it"

In a calming voice, Dr. Brooks said" You don't have to tell me now, but I hope with you staying here, you will open up to someone you can trust, and whatever you and I talk about is confidential, I can't even tell your Dad without your permission."

I finally looked him in the eyes and said "really, you can't tell my Dad whatever I tell you unless I say it's OK?" " That's right, Bella, but I do expect you to go to all the group therapies, and you will be assigned a Social worker, who you can confide in, too, I will also be putting you on some medication, starting with an anti depressant, and a sedative before bedtime"

He told me my first group thereapy is starting in 10 minutes, and said He will be talking to me everyday and if I need to talk to him, just let one of the nurses know, and he will come up and talk to me.

" Thank you"

So, I headed to my first group therapy, I felt really uncomfortable, because I was the last one to enter the room and all eyes were on me.

EPOV

Shit, I hate these group therapy sessions. The social worker always tries to get me to open up, but I just can't. I sometimes wish my attempted suicide would of worked, but my parents found me barely alive. I had swallowed a bottle and a half of sleeping pills and percacet. It almost worked, and before I knew it I'm in Forks mental health facility. I'm pissed off all the time, my anger gets so bad that I sometimes have to leave a session so I could go throw something in my room. I guess that why they put me in a padded room.

Today, I went to session as usual and always try to sit in the back away from the social worker Linda, I just hope she picks on somebody else today, I'm not in the mood to talk.

As I was sitting there waiting for group, I saw a brunette walk in with her arms folded, she was probably new, and in a way, I knew how she ffelt. She wasn't bad looking either, I wonder what brought her here.

She was looking around the room assuming she was looking for a seat, I don't know why, but I spoke up and said there is a free seat next to me, but I couldn't really look her in the eye. I don't want to get close to anyone, I can't trust anyone anymore.

She gave me a small smile "Thank you" I just nodded my head and kept my face forward.

Linda walked in and started the session. She spotted the brunette next to me " Looks like we have a new person joining us, what is your name, sweetheart?" She spoke quietly and said " Bella" Her name is Bella, the name fits her, she is beautiful

What? Beautiful?

Linda asked Bella if she would mind telling us what brought her here " If you don't mind , I would rather not talk about it right now"

Linda said that was fine, but told her sooner or later, she will need to open up.

Bella just nodded and looked at the floor the rest of the session. After session was over, I for some reason introduced myself to her

"Bella?" She looked at me with sad eyes " I just want to introduce myself to you, I'm Edward Cullen"

She smiled and it was beautiful, then laughed and said " Are you Dr. Cullens son?" I internally groaned and said " Yes, I am"

" Your Dad is my Dr. He's very nice to me, like he really cares" I nodded my head " yeah, he really cares about his patients"

She looked at me " By the way I'm Bella Swan" My eyes got big and I asked her if her father was chief of police.

She rolled her eyes and said yes," He's the one who forced me in here"

With my eyebrows raised in confusion " why would Chief Swan for you in here?"

While playing with the hem of her shirt, she looked up " If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about my problem or why I'm here right now, I'm sorry if that sounds rude"

I felt bad and said" No, its ok, it was rude of me to ask you, I probably would have answered the same way if you asked that"

She blushed and smiled, wonder why she's blushing? But it makes her look even more beautiful...Oh my God I can't think about this, I'm not wanting a girl in my life right now, or do I?

Becky, the nurse came in and told Bella she needed her for a bit, I knew what they were going to do, routine physical and blood draw.

She got up " It was nice talking to you, maybe I'll see you around?"

I smiled and said " yeah, I'll see you around"

I got up and headed to my room to think. What is wrong with me, in the past hour, one person had made me feel at peace and calm.

I do want to get to know her better if she will let me.

I'll save her a seat when dinner is served, and maybe we could talk more, yeah, that's what I'll do.

I hope you like the first chapter, like I said a lot of this is from my own experience, and I hope it will help people to reach out for help. Please review and tell me what you think, it would make me very, very happy. Thanks


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